If I were asked to give my children one piece of advice about life that would always hold true, I would say this:
Choose kindness over everything else.
Not charm. Not wit. Not beauty. Not success.
Kindness.
It may sound like a simple idea, but it holds deep wisdom—especially in a world where surface-level traits often get more attention than substance. When getting to know someone, whether it’s a potential romantic partner, a new friend, or a colleague at work, it’s easy to be drawn in by things like humor, style, confidence, or success. Those things are appealing, and they do play a role. But none of them matter if the person isn’t kind at their core.
Grab your Kindness front license plate as you continue expressing kindness.
Why Kindness Is the Trait That Truly Lasts
Kindness is often quiet. It doesn’t always grab attention the way confidence or beauty does. But it’s the quality that shows up when it matters most—especially during difficult moments. It’s how someone treats the waiter when no one is watching. It’s how they speak about others when there’s no advantage in doing so. It’s whether they show patience when things don’t go their way, or compassion when someone makes a mistake.
Consider Sarah, a young professional who once dated a man named Daniel. He was successful, charming, and very intelligent—everything she thought she wanted. But over time, she noticed he would make belittling jokes in public and dismiss people who couldn’t benefit him. He never yelled, but his words could cut deep. On the surface, he had it all together. But his lack of kindness eroded the relationship, and left Sarah feeling smaller each day.
Contrast that with Maya’s story. She met David, who was quiet and humble, not the flashiest person in the room. But David listened, remembered details, and treated everyone—from the janitor to the CEO—with the same respect. Even in moments of stress, he remained gentle and grounded. Years later, their relationship is still thriving—not because everything has been perfect, but because kindness formed the foundation.
Kindness and Emotional Safety
Kindness goes beyond being “nice.” True kindness creates emotional safety. A kind person won’t use your insecurities against you. They won’t humiliate you in public or manipulate you in private. They don’t weaponize silence or guilt. Instead, they honor your feelings, even when they disagree with you. They protect your dignity—even during conflict.
This is what makes kindness so powerful. It doesn’t just shape how someone treats you—it shapes how you feel about yourself around them. With a kind person, you don’t walk on eggshells. You don’t feel the need to shrink to be accepted. You feel seen, valued, and respected. You feel safe enough to be yourself.
Think of a workplace example. Imagine two managers: One is highly skilled but constantly condescending. The other might be less experienced but leads with empathy. Over time, employees under the kind leader tend to thrive—they ask questions, grow faster, and stay longer—because emotional safety boosts performance and confidence. Kindness isn’t just personal. It impacts environments too.
Why Kindness Is Rare—and Priceless
It’s important to understand that kindness isn’t always obvious at first. In the early stages of any connection, almost everyone can put their best foot forward. Sweet gestures, compliments, and thoughtful messages are common when things are new. But true kindness shows up when there’s nothing to gain. When you’re at your worst. When it’s inconvenient.
For example, Lisa once fell seriously ill. She had been dating someone new at the time. While many of her friends disappeared, one man she had only just met began showing up with soup, checking in, and helping with errands—not because he had to, but because he cared. They’re now happily married. What stood out to her wasn’t a grand gesture or physical attraction—it was his kindness when she had nothing to offer in return.
That’s what makes kindness rare. And that’s what makes it priceless.
Final Thoughts: Ask the Right Question
So, if you’re meeting someone new or evaluating a connection in your life, try this:
Don’t just ask yourself if they’re impressive. Ask yourself if they’re kind.
This simple question might protect you from years of heartache. Because kindness won’t always be the flashiest trait, but it will always be the one that matters most in the long run.
It’s what keeps love strong after the honeymoon phase fades. It’s what nurtures friendships through seasons of change. It’s what creates workplaces where people feel like they belong.
Kindness isn’t weakness. It’s strength with softness.
And in a world where many seek to be powerful, the truly rare ones seek to be kind.